How to Connect with Your Spouse in a Crazy Busy World

by | Nov 6, 2019 | marriage

Can I be gut-wrenchingly honest with you for a moment?

I don’t know what challenges you’re facing right now. For me, this season of diapers, potty training, homeschooling, extracurriculars, budgeting, and long hours at work has been a whirlwind, to say the least.

It’s easy to say a healthy marriage is our top priority, but in real life we are so busy that our marriage is constantly pushed to the bottom of the priority list. 

Staying connected is anything but effortless when so many things compete for our attention.

Yet—the effort we put in each day (however tiny) are an investment into our marriage that will pay dividends in the years to come.

So—how can we rekindle a marriage when we are crazy busy and feel like two ships passing in the night? 



1.  Enjoy a cup of coffee or tea together in the morning before work.

Unlike me, my husband is a morning person, so this was a challenge at first. However, it was not impossible for me to commit to ONE day a week. Now, I look forward to our morning chats.


2.  Read a book together.

Both hubby and I are voracious readers. Sometimes, we choose a book to read together. I read the print version, and hubby listens on audiobook in the car during his commute. This is a great way to learn something new together and keep our conversations lively.


3.  Exercise together.

You might have the ability and the means to run or hit the gym with your spouse. If so—that’s awesome! If not, consider doing a workout video together. One of our personal favorites is yoga. Yoga is a great way to unwind and release tension after a long day. If you can’t make it to class, and you don’t have a video, there are plenty of free workouts online.


4. Take a moment each day to check in with one another.

My husband calls me most evenings on his way home from work to chat, so that we can have a few moments of kid-free conversation before he gets home.


5.  Pencil in a regular date night.

I’m a sucker for spontaneity, but our crazy schedules call for some intentionality. Our weekly date nights are very low key in this season of our lives.

Don’t worry about committing to the same night every week. Do what you can, when you can.  Think quality over quantity.

Just last night, my husband got called in to work. We had about one hour for sushi and a TV show, and it was still a great time.

Occasionally, when we’re feeling fancy, we step out for a night on the town. However, the cost of dinner and a movie can quickly put a dent in our budget.  Check out this post for 45 fun and spicy (and easy) ideas for a date night at home.

No sitter? No problem.


How to stay connected when marriage is hard

For some of you, this is a hard read for a couple of reasons:

  • maybe you want to connect but are struggling because marriage is hard right now
  • maybe you don’t want to connect because you’ve tried EVERYTHING and you’re ready to throw in the towel

If that’s you–I get it.  I’ve been there.  I have also watched things turn around in my own marriage.  I know there is hope.

What if I told you that you can see progress in your marriage without working so hard on it?

I thought I had tried everything–books, dates, getaways, counseling–all to no avail.  It wasn’t until I gave my marriage to God that I saw any real results.

If you are numb and tired of working on it, this guide was made for you.

You’ll get a calendar full of 30 short and sweet yet power-packed prayers to transform your marriage and bring peace to your soul.

Download the guide below!

Discover the power of prayer to change your marriage

About Kat

About Kat

Hey there!  I'm a wife to my high school sweetheart, and homeschooling mom to four kids.  I'm also a planner junkie and a secret shower singer.

When I'm not doing the mom thing, you can find me curled up with a good book and a hot cup of chai.

Want to read my story?

I can occasionally be found hiding from my kids here:



  1. April Nelson

    It’s so important to be intentional in working for the betterment of our marriages. My husband and I have faced a new challenge the last few years as both have been diagnosed with chronic illness, we are home together most of the time. I work from home and he’s unable. A tough adjustment to get used to but I’m so thankful God guides us through and we continue to grow closer to each other. He’s truly my best friend!

    • Kat Charles

      April, wow, you two are an inspiration. God bless you both.

    • Kat Charles

      Hi Aryn!

      So glad you found these tips helpful. I’m excited you signed up for the challenge! Thanks for visiting!

  2. Justina Price

    I feel marriage is always a work in progress. I work long hours and my husband is already retired so when I get in the car I call him (on my bluetooth of course.)and we talk on my way home. When it is one of those hard days he is my source of strength and will always do something nice for me when I walk in the door.

    • Kat Charles

      Justina, you are so right. Marriage is a work in progress. It takes many small efforts to amount to the level of love and connection that we desire. The way you and your husband are intentional each day is inspiring. Thank you for visiting 🙂


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Meet Kat

Hey there!  I'm Kat, homeschooling mom of four.  I'm on a journey to design a life I don't want to hide in the bathroom from.  Sound good to you?  Hope you'll join me!

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