6 Life-Saving Tips to Bring Calm to the Anxious Mom

by | Apr 18, 2018 | mental health, MOM LIFE

If you’re anything like me, your Pinterest feed is full of healthy, kid-friendly recipes, organizational checklists, and a bunch of posts on minimalism, mindfulness, and meditation.  As much as I want to be the effortlessly zen mom–she is just not me.  And I am not her.

Maybe you didn’t grow up with a zen mom.  Perhaps motherhood took you by surprise, and you are doing your best to adapt.  Maybe, you are not the mom you thought you would be.  I’m here to tell you that it’s okay.  You’re not alone.  There are no perfect moms, trust me on this. We all need a little help in one way or another.  That is why they say it takes a village to raise a child.

 

 

MY IMAGINARY SUPER-MOM

 

So, you know how some of us had imaginary friends as kids?  Well, my imaginary friend eventually moved away when I grew up and started liking boys or whatever.  When I became a mom, I created a new imaginary character—the ideal mom—only she wasn’t really my friend.   Whenever something would not go right, whenever there was a meltdown (the kids or myself), or disappointment, or a hurt or frustration—I would size myself up against this imaginary super-mom.  Did I do enough?  Was I patient enough?  Was I enough?

 

Maybe your super-mom is an actual person in your life that you compare yourself to.  Whatever the case, focusing on your shortcomings every day does not help you improve.  It only weighs you down.

 

 

A WORD FOR THE ANXIOUS MOM

 

Here’s the thing.  There is always going to be something more to be done.   More cleaning to be done.  More healthy meals to make.  More friendships to cultivate.  More activities to sign up for.  More fun vacations to plan.  More games to play.  But, when is it enough?  At what point do we sit and enjoy the fruits of our labor?

 

 

3 REMINDERS FOR THE OVERWHELMED AND ANXIOUS MOM

 

When you find yourself having a moment, or it’s just been one of those days–here are a few reminders for you:

 

  1. At the end of the day, you are doing the best you can–just like most everyone else.  Tomorrow is a new day and a fresh start.
  2. Your #1 priority is fulfilling your purpose, not the items on your to-do list.  God has a plan for your children, so you don’t have to worry about all of the details. As a mom, your investment into your kids is what matters most.  More than the housework, the homework, and everything else.
  3. If you are tired or just in need of a break, take time to fill your cup before trying to fill up everyone else.  Taking proper care of yourself is a sure-fire way to reduce stress and anxiety.

This post may include affiliate links.  Read the full disclosure here.

3 BEST PRACTICES FOR THE MOM WHO COULD USE A LITTLE CHILL IN HER LIFE

 

Here are some of my favorite tools for keeping things in perspective so I can savor the imperfect moments rather than beat myself up over them.

 

Prayer/meditation

 

When the kids are driving me crazy, or things seems to be falling apart and my emotions are on the rise, I shut myself into my bedroom. Or the bathroom.  Or take a moment in the driver’s seat of my minivan—and pray.  When I can’t quite form words, I know that God understands.  Sometimes I write my prayers out in a journal as letters to God.  Meditation is a key part of my bedtime routine (when I follow it and am not up late blogging like a madwoman).  Meditation allows me to relax and focus on everything that went right during the day, and on the vibe I want to enter into the next day.

 

 

Talking it out

 

A trusted counselor or friend can be a great sounding board when you need to get your worries and fears out in the open.  When I hear my thoughts said out loud, it is easier for me to put things into proper perspective.  If you’re not in the mood to talk, journaling can be very therapeutic.  Or if you haven’t already, you could start a blog and find a community of people who may be struggling with the same fears and worries.

 

 

Reading

 

I am a voracious reader.  I love to learn new things, and there are several books that have helped me on my journey toward authentically joyful motherhood.  I had to change my mindset, which meant letting go of the mom I wanted to be and embracing the woman I was meant to be.  Here are some books I’ve found to be endlessly helpful in understanding, managing, and overcoming anxiety.

 

 

 

RELATED BOOKS ON ANXIETY:

 

 

 

A FREE GUIDE TO BRING CALM TO THE ANXIOUS HEART

 

If you’re anything like me, you are prone to worry and desperate for relief–and a good night’s rest.  You may not be able to stop the racing or negative thoughts on your own, but you can feed your mind some of God’s most comforting promises for the anxious mom.   I’ve created a free PDF guide to 18 promises of God to help you keep anxiety and fear at bay.  Meditate on these truths every day until they become second nature, and worry will start to dissipate.  Grab a free guide below!

I hope you find these resources helpful.  How do you manage anxiety in motherhood?  Let me know in the comments!

27 Comments

  1. Brit Strawbridge

    This is such a special and necessary post to read! I think we all feel this at some point in our lives & I think we all meet that imaginary super mom now & then. I believe self-care is so important for this reason exactly! thanks for sharing! I love the Be Still printable!

    Reply
  2. KJ

    This is such a great reminder to just live in the moment and do our best. Perfection is an illusion.

    Reply
  3. Veronika

    These ideas are awesome. I often have negative self talk about my writing, but I’m getting better at pushing through because writing down my experiences works wonders. Thanks for the post ❤️

    Reply
    • Kat Charles

      Hi Veronika! I can relate. I fought my way through writing this post. Keep pushing through! Thank you for reading.

      Reply
  4. Susie

    Thank you for sharing. For me, I have a puzzle type game on my phone, and whenever I need a time out, I pull it and play no more than three games. It takes me 5-10 minutes. Enough to calm down.

    Reply
    • Kat Charles

      Susie, I love puzzles, especially word puzzles. Thank you for reading!

      Reply
  5. leah

    yes! i suffer as well and prayer and meditation helps me so much!

    Reply
  6. Jessie

    Thank you for this!!! I have anxiety and some days are worse than others and I feel like I’m going to have a breakdown. I will make sure to keep this handy. Such a great read.

    Reply
    • Kat Charles

      Hi Jessie, so glad you found this helpful! Some days are so hard. Breaking the day up into sections helps at times… just get through morning, lunchtime, and the after dinner stretch. Thanks for reading!

      Reply
  7. Floby Villaralvo

    I love the way you mentioned about filling up our cup, we all need this. It is tiring but we need these kinds of affirmations to stay alive.

    Reply
    • Kat Charles

      Yes, Floby, positive affirmation is everything! Words hold so much power. Thank you for reading!

      Reply
  8. Tara | I dream of simple

    This is a lovely post! I love to read in my down time. You shared some great suggestions to add to my list!

    Reply
  9. Megan Rowsey

    Oh man. This is what I needed today. After sitting in traffic because of a horrible accident, the kids got to school late. And once we got there, I realized they didn’t bring their backpacks, despite me reminding them. So I had to scramble and figure out lunches. It was a crappy morning. Trying to chose Joy like the printable says.

    Reply
    • Kat Charles

      Wow, Megan, what a day! Choosing joy is much easier said than done, but you sound determined! Hope you found a few minutes for yourself today! Thank you for reading!

      Reply
  10. candy

    Anxious really gets started when they start to drive and leave home where you have no control over them. Teach them well.

    Reply
    • Kat Charles

      Hi Candy, I have about 5/6 years until my oldest two are old enough to drive… my oldest daughter can’t wait. Trying to savor these moments! Thank you for reading!

      Reply
  11. Amanda

    Wonderful post. It is so uplifting and encouraging…and very zen!

    Reply
  12. Leigh Suznovich

    Oh I can so relate to this even not being a mother yet. Such a helpful post!

    Reply
    • Kat Charles

      Thank you for reading Leigh! Anxiety affects so many of us. Glad you found this helpful!

      Reply
  13. Sara

    I can so relate to the ‘theres always something more to be done’. I have to remind myself of this all the time. Thanks for the post!

    Reply
  14. Rose-Marie

    This is a great resource for all mothers of all stages, life changes as our kids grow and grow up. Reading helps me the most. With knowledge there comes power, the power to be informed and make better decisions and feel like you are in control more. Rose @ Our House of Love

    Reply
    • Kat Charles

      Hi Rose-Marie, with knowledge comes power.. I like that! Thanks for reading!

      Reply
  15. Shelley

    Anxious mom here! It’s so hard to take a minute when there’s so much on your plate. These ar great reminders.

    Reply
  16. Chelsae

    After the week I am having this is such a great reminder. I have recently written posts on the “perfect” mom. I used to always think it would be so easy to be a perfect mom but until I became one found out just how hard that is but also how I think each mom is perfect. Just in their own way.

    Reply
    • Kat Charles

      Hi Chelsae! Being a mom is soo not easy sometimes but you are so right–we are the perfect mom for our kids.

      Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Welcome!

bio pic

Hi!  I’m Kat Charles, a married mother of four precious, spirited kiddos.  We homeschool in the DC area, and we totally dig it. I am an aspiring writer, secret shower singer, and lover of all things beautiful.

READ MORE

FREE GUIDE

homeschool guide