To the Weary Mom Who Wonders if She’ll Ever Be Enough

by | Apr 10, 2019 | MOTHERHOOD

Do you know what a force you are?

You are a powerful, ambitious, creative, loving, persevering, intelligent, mysterious, sensual individual.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

You work hard and you love hard.

You motivate and inspire those around you–your partner, your children, your family, co-workers, and friends.

So–why don’t you feel that way?

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WILL YOU EVER BE ENOUGH?

Do you struggle with feeling like you are “enough”?

So did I.  Until I began to wonder:

Am I supposed to be “enough”?

I’m a fixer.  If there’s anything in my life that’s out of whack, I want to fix it and restore balance.  I’m really good at fixing problems, actually–can you relate?

I think women are pretty great at fixing problems.  We do it all day long–at work, at home, for our kids, for our husbands.

It’s only natural, right?

You don’t have to go very far to find a million ways to fix your marriage, get fit, sleep better, raise better children, live a happier life, make more money, and the list goes on.

We like to fix things, especially ourselves.

Why?

Because if we can fix all of our problems, we will be happier and experience a higher quality of life.  Right?

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve your quality of life.  I believe God wants us to wisely invest the time He’s given us on the earth.

However, it’s easy to get fixated on problems and results rather than the Source of our help to fix our problems.  It’s easy to get the big picture out of focus.

When you get hyperfocused on fixing everything you think is going wrong in your life, consider these five reminders.

mom enough

5 REMINDERS FOR THE MOM WHO WONDERS IF SHE’LL EVER BE ENOUGH

 

1)  Comparison will rob you blind–of not just joy, but feeling loved.

When you are tempted to compare yourself to others, know that while others for sure will size you up, God loves you no matter what and He doesn’t have any favorites. (Romans 2:11)

 

2)  You may not feel like you’re doing enough, but God’s grace fills in all the gaps.

He alone knows what will become of all of those sleepless nights and long days.  As much as I’d like to think I am in control, I am only responsible for my part.  I can’t bend the outcome to my will no matter how hard I try.  If that thought scares you, you are not alone.  It scares me too.  My only hope is knowing God loves me and that He loves my family as well.  That He is good and no matter the circumstances, I can trust Him.

3)  The kids will be fine.

If you don’t master becoming the happy, fun, wildly creative, ambitious, super-duper amazing mom you may have always wanted to be, it’s gonna be okay.  We all make mistakes in motherhood.   I for one mess up on the daily.  I mean girl–I mess up HOURLY.

It doesn’t matter whether you breastfeed or not, yell at your kids or not, homeschool your kids or not, kiss all their boo-boos or not, God will not waste one single positive or negative experience. He is a redeemer that can turn ANY situation around.  He chose YOU to be the mother of your kids.

I want to share with you a little bit of how God has shown up as a redeemer in my own life.  I suffered severe postpartum depression with three of my four children.  I really struggled to connect with my kids, especially after a traumatic birth experience with my first.  It took me a long time to realize something was gravely wrong, but I eventually got help.  It’s been a long road to recovery, but God has been faithful to turn around my relationship with my kids as I look to Him for guidance and educate myself on how to connect with them.  Today, our relationship isn’t perfect, but it’s getting deeper and better each day.

 

4)  You are most definitely not alone.

I have talked to SO many women who struggle with insecurity over their appearance or capabilities.  It breaks my heart, even though I experience the same struggles.  But I believe that we suffer so that we can comfort others and lift them up.  When you reach out to encourage others, it’s healing for everybody.

 

5)  God loves you and is well pleased with you.

I used to imagine God peering down on me, shaking His head in dismay whenever I messed up.  Can you relate?  The truth is, I will never be a perfect mom, and that’s not what God expects from me anyway.  He doesn’t expect perfection from you either.  I could never do it on my own.  My best efforts will never be enough.  That is why I need Him.

I’m currently in the middle of a book by bestselling author Stormie OMartian called The Power of a Praying Parent (affiliate link).  In her book, Stormie talks about growing up with a mentally ill and abusive mother.  She says that without God, she had no hope of becoming the mother she wanted to be for her children. Her resolve and education only took her so far.

Even though she read tons of parenting books, she found that only God could change her heart and shape her into the kind of mother she wanted to be.

If you are carrying heavy burdens–a rocky marriage, trouble with your children, loneliness, anxiety, depression–God loves you and He is waiting to shoulder these for you and to walk you through them if you will take them to Him in prayer. (Matthew 11:28)

 

BEFORE YOU GO

Mama, I hope you find encouragement in these words today.  When you are tempted to compare yourself to others, remember that God chose you to mother your children. His grace is enough, and He loves you and wants you to bring your cares and worries to Him.  You are not alone!

Please feel free to share this post with someone else who needs to know they are loved!

 

2 Comments

  1. Sara Kehler

    Fantastic post! Encouraging and full of truth 🙂

    Reply
    • Kat Charles

      Thanks for reading, Sara! I’m so glad you found this post encouraging.

      Reply

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Meet Kat

Hey there!  I'm Kat, homeschooling mom of four.  I'm on a journey to design a life I don't want to hide in the bathroom from.  Sound good to you?  Hope you'll join me!

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